DON'T SHUT HER UP

                YOU WERE NOT RAPED! WHY DIDN'T YOU SCREAM!

Tayo:  Aunty, I am useless.

Me:  No! You are powerful and you know it.

Tayo: So why can't I get behind this pain. It was just rape.

Me: It wasn't just rape. It was a crime, an abuse that we should report.

Tayo: Maybe I caused it. I may have tempted him. Mummy said I didn't scream,

Me: You did not cause anything. It was his crime. NOTHING JUSTIFIES IT.

About 6 years ago, one of my students suddenly started hitting her head against a large stone on the school field. Before help could get to her, she had terribly injured herself. Why? One of the monsters she called  UNCLE  was forcefully having his way with her and HER MOTHER did not believe her. Prior to that time, she had confided in me that she was raped.  Trust me, I was all fire and brimstone , ready to take it to whatever heights , but she pleaded against it. I was naïve , I agreed- GREATEST MISTAKE. 

For months, I watched one of my brightest students self hurt and till date, I still cry when I remember. She hated her body enough to physically torture herself, All she wanted to do was to numb the emotional roller coaster and feel sane again. I repeatedly tried  to convince her to allow us report the case, but Tayo (not real name) was adamant. She was all smiles in class, but an emotional wreck when we were alone. It got to a point it started affecting my work - I was falling into the cesspit this ugly event created, I knew I had to do something. I called her mother!

"SHE IS LYING!" Her mother shrieked. At first, I thought I heard wrong, but she repeated it, this time vehemently.

             " She is lying. Why didn't she scream when it was happening? Why?"

 At this point, I was ready to reply her with some colourful acerbic words, but I respected my student and kept mute. I reported the case to the school's management  but the girl denied it. Why won't she, with a mother that failed in her most paramount duty as a parent.

See, you can’t really comprehend the depth of the hurt that comes with being raped until you see the damage it wrecks on the victim or YOU ARE THE VICTIM. It drains and kills you slowly, especially when no one believes you. Rape doesn’t have a particular pattern. For the fact that a victim screams when it’s happening doesn’t mean another will do same. Some just go numb when it happens. I  have heard victims say they tune off as a coping mechanism. As an individual, the worst thing you can do is to try to shush the victim and the best thing you can do is to LISTEN. Then you ACT.

In 2017, Women At Risk International Foundation (WARIF), an NGO, reported that about 10,000 girls are sexually assaulted, raped daily in Nigeria. The statistics is staggering enough for us to LISTEN and ACT.  Nothing justifies rape. Not culture, tradition or raging hormones. Keeping quiet when you notice this horrible menace is tantamount to aiding and abetting. SPEAK OUT and encourage others to do as well!     

WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?

 #saynotorape #thatpublicschoolteacher #istandwithrapevictims